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I have no science to back my claims. No team of researchers trying to crack the code of why you keep getting in your own way. I only have my experiences, observations, and personal results to help you.
Here are 7 ways to finally create your breakout year.
Find the right lover.
This should be the number one reason in every self-help book, and article on success. Find yourself someone you want to fight for and you’ll win.
When you find the right person, you’re unstoppable. You have purpose, and drive, and support, and love and laughter. You have someone to hold you when things go wrong and support you when they go right.
Find the right lover, and your life will open up in myriad ways
It’s not the economy. It’s not your boss. It’s not the election. It’s not your parents. It’s you.
Try this: Ask a close friend or spouse to count your complaints per day. You can do the same for them. It’s an eye opening and often upsetting experience.
Complaining is a habit. We often do it unconsciously. Have that friend help bring awareness to your complaining so you can fix it. Stop complaining about your circumstances, and change them.
I believe that you can speak things into reality. If you speak of negativity, it will surround you. If you see the miracles around you, they will surround you.
So stop pointing to the negative through complaining, and start pointing to the positive by observing the miracles.
Stop hanging out with losers.
I love CrossFit. I find that my performance always improves when I have a “pace horse” to work out next to. The strongest and fastest person in the room raises the performance of everyone around her. Surround yourself with over performers and allow them to be your “pace horses.”
Hang out with losers, and your life will stall.
Having a beer with friends can be fun. Drinking until you puke two nights a week is a recipe for loser-dome. If you want to win, stop drinking — period. Or at least stop drinking during the week, and tone it down on the weekends.
Abusing drugs shouldn’t even be part of this conversation. If you want to rip lines of cocaine, or pop pills or whatever — and you still think you’ll succeed at anything — you’re a fool.
So stop partying. Seriously, cut it out.
Sounds like a minor thing. But follow through. Follow through with everything.
Sale falls through — follow-up a few months later just to check in. The sale happens — follow up even when you don’t have to just to see how things are going. If you say you’re going to be there — show up. If you say you’re going to send that thing in the mail — send it. If you say you’re going to create that presentation – create it.
You may not be the smartest or the best, but you follow through. If you do this — you are a person of character. If you are a person of character, good things will happen.
So follow through with everything.
Be aware of your surroundings.
That’s it. Be aware. Pick your head up. See the world around you. Understand that you’re in the world with others. It’s not here to serve you. You’re a part of it. You’re in a rush. We get it. So is everyone else.
Be aware of your body, and space you inhabit. See elderly people who need a seat on the bus so you can get up and offer yours to them. Understand when you’re being too loud, or taking up space in an aisle, or blocking someone’s view. See her struggle, and then help a mother carry her carriage up a flight of steps.
When you’re in your own little world, bad things happen. You will stumble — literally and figuratively. You will obsess over foolish things that mean nothing. You will think bad things only happen to you. You will begin to make everything about you, and that’s dangerous.
When you’re aware, and conscious, and courteous, good things happen. When good things happen, you feel good. When you feel good you see miracles in the world. When you see miracles in the world you create miracles.
So be aware of your surroundings.
Nobody can love you unless you love yourself. But the trick to this one is that you can’t just say “I love myself.” Just like loving your significant other, you have to show love in your actions.
Give your body love by allowing it time to rest through sleep and meditation. Love yourself by fueling your body with the right foods, and hydrating properly. Love yourself by exercising. Love yourself by reading and listening to audio books. Love yourself by socializing with people who you love and will love and support you in return.
Love yourself, so some serious magic can happen this year.
This was originally posted on my INC.com Column.
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