Monday, December 4, 2023
Why You Need To Know The Answer To This One Question If You Want To Be Successful

Why You Need To Know The Answer To This One Question If You Want To Be Successful

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Last week I sat down with former Green Beret, and NFL player Nate Boyer. We were on the phone to talk about his involvement in Mission6Zero, as well as his important work with not for profits. I was very curious about how a guy like Nate had accomplished so much in such a short period of time.

We spent a great deal of time discussing his unique approach to networking. More on that in a minute.

Our hour-long conversation left my head spinning. Nate is a v-e-r-y rare human being. He approaches life with ferocity for sure, but he’s also exceptionally humble.

While we were on the phone he mentioned to me that he’d written an open letter to Colin Kaepernick. We discussed his stance, and we hung up. A day later, Nate was standing next to Kaepernick on the sidelines, his letter had gone viral, and I was watching him chat about it onESPN defending Colin’s right to protest.

While reflecting on our conversation, I realized that Nate offered advice that I knew I had to apply to my own life, and I knew I had to share here with you.

The one piece of advice that he gave that sort of stopped me in my tracks is this:

You must know the answer to “how can I help you?”

Nate explained that when networking he takes as many meetings with as many people as he possible can. This worked well early on in his career. As the stakes got higher, he realized he wasn’t taking full advantage of the opportunities presented to him.

Nate shared that he’s currently working on a top-secret project. He also mentioned that this project in particular was a dream he’d had for years. He could hardly contain his enthusiasm. He also seemed amused that it was all happening.

He credited his clarity of vision for his networking success to make his project come to life.

Nate shared that he would take meetings, and leave feeling like he’d messed up. The nagging voice in his head would inevitably point to a moment in the conversation when people (important people) would ask him “how can I help you?”

He explained that, “when I would take these meetings people began asking me how they could help me, and I didn’t have an answer.”

Adding “I realized that if I had clarity and a specific answer to that question, things would start to happen.” They did, and they certainly are.

As you network, and push to grow your business, get a promotion, or raise funds. Remember that you have to know the answer to “How can I help you?” Maybe you’ll even start to have magical results like Nate Boyer, former Green Beret and NFL player.


This article was originally published in my column for

Hi, my name is Chris Dessi. I’m CEO of Silverback Social. I’m also author of the book Remarkable You: Build a Personal Brand and Take Charge of Your Career

If you’d like the first chapter of Remarkable You for free, just head here. 

“I’ve known Chris for a long time and adore his work ethic, standards and passion… I am sure if you are lucky enough to get to know him through this book you will agree.”

 Gary Vaynerchuk, CEO Vayner Media and NYT Bestselling author

“The definitive book on personal brand building that everyone is talking about. Two huge likeable thumbs up!” 

Dave Kerpen, NYT Bestselling Author of The Art of People

Here are my most popular articles from my column on INC Magazine. 

How to Produce Stunning Change in Your Life Immediately

6 Books to Change Your Life for the Better 

13 Things Really Successful People Do (Every. Single. Day.)

10 Daily Habits That Will Radically Improve Your Life

10 Steps To Produce Stunning Results In Your Life (According To Nate Boyer, Former Green Beret & NFL Player)

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